On Speaking to a Room I Cannot See

Recently, I gave a virtual talk where the participants were not visible at all: no faces, no names, just my host and me, and a counter at the bottom of the screen. The experience crystallized something I have felt for a while: I am not at home in this format.

Webinars are often designed for scale and control. Everyone is muted, some formats now impose that cameras are off, and interaction is funneled into narrow channels, usually a chat box or Q&A window (as was the case here, and it caught me by surprise). From a host’s perspective, this can make sense in some situations. It prevents interruptions, protects privacy, and keeps the program running on time. But for a speaker whose core values are exchange and conversation (which was the stated objective of this talk), it removes the very cues that make communication feel alive. Without that basic human visibility, it is impossible to read the room, adjust to people’s needs, or feel that the exchange is mutual rather than transactional.

Seeing people is not a luxury; it is part of what makes communication respectful. That people choose to keep their video off is entirely their decision, and I respect that. What matters to me is that participants are at least given the choice to be visible, rather than being structurally kept invisible by the format. Equally, when it is possible, I need to be able to see some of the audience. A host’s decision about format should not make both speakers and attendees hostage to enforced invisibility.

When an event chooses a setup that hides the audience while asking the speaker to show up fully, it creates an imbalance. The speaker’s presence is exposed and accountable, while the audience’s presence is abstract and anonymous. That design choice says something about whose experience is being prioritized and whose experience is being dismissed.

Going forward, I am going to be more deliberate. Before accepting an online speaking invitation, I will ask how the event is structured. If it is a strict webinar, I may request a meeting format, or at least some way to see and hear participants during part of the session. And if that is not possible, I may choose to decline.

I do not mind technology; it is part of my background. But I mind how respectfully we use it. I mind being asked to show up fully for people who are structurally kept invisible. Respect in communication includes the simple courtesy of letting us see each other. This is not about rejecting technology. It is about insisting that, even online, we treat knowledge-sharing as a relationship rather than a broadcast.